@weinerdog4life: Other kids wanted to be astronauts or doctors, when I was little I wanted to be a horse calendar
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@1InTheStinker: The cops came to my house claiming my dog chased someone down on a bike! I explained to the idiots that my dog doesn't own a bike.
@FlyoverJoel: The woman selling sea shells by the sea shore must have had a strong personal brand to overcome such a poor business model.
@TheDailyManning: Dear girls, Santa saw your Facebook page, you're getting clothes and a dictionary for Christmas.