@weinerdog4life: Other kids wanted to be astronauts or doctors, when I was little I wanted to be a horse calendar
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@Scarlet_Rose67: My daughter asked me what marriage is like, so I threw out all her Ken dolls, except for the bald drunk one.
@Izianikapani: If the US admits that Trump's presidential campaign is a hoax then Australia will come clean about the platypus.
@DadandBuried: As far as I'm concerned, anyone who suggests I should have a third child is committing a hate crime.