@ceejoyner: Our boss just banned overly specific nicknames and the whole office is staring at Rat Snitch Brian The Good Time Ruiner.
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@Snarfernini: I have an inferiority complex about my superiority complex. I know I'm better than you, but I feel really bad about it.
@yoyoha: there should be a jail just for people that don't break apart kit kats before they eat them
@DeepDarkFear: "Hate it when I think of her and suddenly we're teleported to a picturesque location, and have to dance to a random love song." - Indians
@DrDogMD: PATIENT: Since I got this new job my feet are killing me. DR DOG: What's your job? PATIENT: Mailman DR DOG: *chases him out of room barking*