@david8hughes: Our family summer boat trips haven't been the same since grandad died & demanded we bury him at sea. In the boat.
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@iwearaonesie: dad: I can't find my glasses, can you read what this says for me? me: "Dad do you want to go to Home Depot" dad: [voice catching] Sure son
@DurtMcHurtt: [Sahara desert] Me: *shares canteen* Companion: *holds it to his mouth but nothing comes out* Me: it's ketchup, you have to wait a bit.
@JRobb773: I hate when I come home from work exhausted and the haunted dolls moved all the furniture two inches to the left.