@EliTerry: "Our relationship is nice because we can sit silently and still have fun." - cool thing to say to the person in bathroom stall next to you.
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@Book_Krazy: Me: Congrats! I heard you got married again Her: Sorry I didn't invite you. It was a small ceremony Me: Its ok. I'll go to your next one
@bridger_w: When someone has a baby, I'm just like, OK, clearly you were desperate to have someone to hang out with
@mynameisntdave: I can't wait until Twitter gives you the option to block yourself. I say some real dumb shit on here and I shouldn't have to deal with it.