@EliTerry: "Our relationship is nice because we can sit silently and still have fun." - cool thing to say to the person in bathroom stall next to you.
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@Jodesaroo: Forget waterboarding, just put a cold hand on my belly and I'll tell you anything you want to know.
@funnyortruth: Friend : "I wasn't that drunk!" Me : "Dude a thief stole your T.V and you ran after him screaming "YOU FORGOT THE REMOTE!!!"
@shutupmikeginn: I have sloth-like reflexes "Don't you mean catlike reflexes?" [several hours later] No