@AimeeHelene1: Over all these years, you'd think I'd remember how important the "L" in clock is...especially when asking mom if I can borrow dad's.
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@murrman5: [first day as funeral director] this is the dress she wants to be buried in "It's very pretty but we highly suggest a coffin"
@Donnie_Fairburn: I could get hit and killed by a truck right in front of him and my dentist would still find a way to blame it on the fact that I don't floss
@weismanjake: Strange that the people who make duck face in photos are the same ones who always refuse to eat bread