@AimeeHelene1: Over all these years, you'd think I'd remember how important the "L" in clock is...especially when asking mom if I can borrow dad's.
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@revious: My ex got drunk and left me at a bar so I called the police and reported a drunk driver.. #topahole
@GayAtHomeDad: When I die, before my will is read, I want my entire Google search history revealed and whoever is left in the room gets it all.
@timk927: Saying someone is doing something "like a boss" to me is an insult because my boss does things half assed & incorrectly then blames others