@NicCageMatch: Overheard a woman telling another woman "It's $150 and she supplies all the turtles" and whatever it is, I'm in.
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@EndhooS: *Wife blows me a kiss from across the room* *I pretend to catch it* *I walk over to the window and toss it outside* "Grow up Karen"
@BigPlanetEarth: Did you know your amazing human body actually drink lava!?! Only once though.....
@gerryhallcomedy: me: *turns around in swivel chair* *tents fingers* I guess you never expected to see ME again... Boss: Must we do this every Monday?
@meganamram: Today i convinced my brother for a full minute that the Beatles wrote "blackbird" about Batman