@ChrisIsJoking: Overheard this guy say "I can skin a deer in 20 min, but I still can't hula hoop." Not sure why he thinks those skills would be transferable
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@Home_Halfway: DATE: Are you a dog person or a cat person? ME: *gets really close to the date & whispers* I'm just a person, what bullshit question is this
@Ygrene: Normal Person (being inconvenienced): I deserve better than this Me (being stabbed w/swords): I'm so sorry for getting blood on your swords
@PLATINUM2000: Who said chivalry is dead, I open the door at least a hundred times a day for my cat and dogs.