@J_Luce3: Overslept this morning and missed church for the last 15 years.
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@DurtMcHurtt: I love giving a little kid the tongue, and then watching him run to his mother holding the severed tongue I just gave him.
@snmrrw: Rasputin never died that day, as an immortal being. He hid for decades, before dropping the "Ras" and slipping back into Russian politics.
@TheRohiniReddy: Guys, I only wanna hear about your ex if she is dead.If you still talk about her, I'll murder her so we can have an interesting conversation
@FBSisnothere: "Ladies, calm down. Girlfriend, wife, whatever. The important thing is that between the 2 of you, you brought enough to post my bail"