@J_Luce3: Overslept this morning and missed church for the last 15 years.
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@TheChalls: Hey Joe, don't think we can use this ad. Why not? We're roofers. Yes, but "Hot shingles in your area looking to get nailed" seems extreme.
@eminmien: Fingers in her belt loops, I pull her in for a kiss. We topple backwards, her arm falls off and a voice shouts "don't touch the mannequins!"
@THEPokerWife: After seeing your latest selfie ... And knowing what you look like in real life.... I'd like to hire you for your photoshopping abilities.
@BrattyBarbie: I don't care how old you are, the only safe way to guarantee the monster under the bed doesn't grab you is to use the run and jump method.