Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets
If bad ads/pop-ups are redirecting you, please take a screenshot and email it to [email protected]. Help us keep the site clean!
@robfee: If you laugh at a kid's joke that kid will tell the exact same joke at slightly louder volumes 8,000 times in a row.
@WetzelGeek: I pick up my dog's poop with empty Snickers wrappers. What I do with it afterwards is strictly on a need-to-know basis.
@LadyBlueberry: Facebook's forever reminding me about people's birthdays like I sell cakes😒😒.
@AmishPornStar1: Earth Day...
...another made up holiday by Big Galaxy just to sell more planets!
@frankzulla: "Well maybe they shouldn't make soap out of animal fat if they didn't want people to eat it!" I yell from the emergency room, mouth foaming
@treydayway: I'm from a generation that wouldn't dare tell an adult that we were bored.
@TragicAllyHere: I don't want to house hunt, I only do it to keep house populations in check.
@BardockObama: Someone just snap chatted me this lmao
@HansomeHoosier: "You can have more degrees than a thermometer & still be dumb as shit."
- Old Southern Proverb
@UnFitz: If I see a dog in a hot car, I'm always troubled.
Why don't I have a hot car like that?
How much does that dog make per year?