@Whatevah_Amy: Apparently, saying "grande" in a non-Starbucks coffee shop is like shouting the wrong name during sex.
@ScottLinnen: Wizard of Oz (1939): A hapless teen suffering from head trauma is led down the wrong path to cosplay, heroin, organ harvesting and ultimately, homicide.
@sixfootcandy: Seasons are confusing in Los Angeles. Time to pull out my winter sundress.
@WilliamAder: If you've got one of those video doorbells, don't be surprised if I do a tight seven-minute set on your porch.
@actualhuman01: [department store]
me: excuse me sir this mirror is wrong, my mom told me i was handsome
@better_off_dad: I hate when people talk down to me like I don’t already know I’m an idiot.
@Buffalojilll: There are two kinds of dog owners. Those that have tried their dog's treats and those that are lying.