@NotJPo: Pantibros before pantihose?
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@Reverend_Scott: *rubs lamp* *genie comes out* You get 3 wishes. Just no wishing for more wishes. "I wish for more genies." I SAID NO WI- oooh, you're good.
@pdxjohnny99: You gotta know when to tweet em Know when to delete em Know when to follow someone Know when to run
@Maddy_ubert: Nurse - "OK we are gonna start you on the scale" Me - "You know what maybe I'm not so sick after all, *pulls knife put of leg*
@daemonic3: [at funeral] FRIEND: I'm sorry for your loss ME: Thanks, I would have won our fantasy league if my QB didn't get injured FRIEND: I meant for your wife ME: It's ok, now she'll never know I lost