@captainkalvis: ANCHOR: we now go live to our new field meteorologist who will issue a storm warning ME: *pointing at the sky* DON'T. YOU. DARE.

@ayisi_yaw: #punsr PREDOMINANT: how to describe a young lady. . . before she gets married

@pinupteacher: *date leans in* Tell me something I don't know about you. *I lean in* I have a french fry in my pocket.

@ewfeez: Can you even imagine the pressure of being a janitor at MIT?

@TeejayRush: "Get in the van if you want to live." Creepy Terminator...