@online_shawn: Pardon the mess, the dog startled me and I threw my shrimp scampi into the ceiling fan
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@captainkalvis: ANCHOR: we now go live to our new field meteorologist who will issue a storm warning ME: *pointing at the sky* DON'T. YOU. DARE.
@pinupteacher: *date leans in* Tell me something I don't know about you. *I lean in* I have a french fry in my pocket.