@online_shawn: Pardon the mess, the dog startled me and I threw my shrimp scampi into the ceiling fan
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@TheMichaelRock: HR: Do you want your name on the October birthday list? Me: Nope. HR: Why not? Me: Because I'm not in Kindergarten.
@Where__wolf: grandma what big eyes u have The better to see u with my dear What big ears u have Well thats kinda rude What big teeth u have Ur grounded
@OctoberJones: In honour of Agatha Christie, turn off all the lights and kill one of your work colleagues.
@Bagyants: I can explain the casting for Thor. Norse mythology describes him as a "hauntingly beautiful blonde lady"