@tothekidswho: parent goals
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@youcancallmesim: "She sends things to strangers on the internet and no one even cares but she keeps doing it" - my dad, explaining me on twitter to my aunt.
@CackleClub: My right eye wouldn't stop weeping all day until I said BE A MAN YOU FREAK and now it's just drinking beer to hide it's feelings
@LindaInDisguise: Me: We do *not* spit on our classmates! 5YO: Well, who DO we spit on, then? I miss the funny stuff my kids said when they were little.