@sarcasticmommy4: Parent pro tip: Beware of the child who cleans their room without being prompted. They are about to ask to borrow money.
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@Carbosly: Do cute firemen still come when a cat is stuck in a tree? Only in case of fire? Fine. But pretty sure my cat won't like being set on fire.
@Breadery: I've spent my whole life trying to find a girl with a psychiatric disorder that makes her think she's a woodpecker.
@HiddenPinky: Will I ever be a good parent? *shakes baby* Wait a minute, if you're here [cut to Magic 8-Ball in crib]