@sarcasticmommy4: Parent pro tip: Beware of the child who cleans their room without being prompted. They are about to ask to borrow money.
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@charliedelta7: I don't have instagram, so I thought you guys should know I had Starbucks this morning. The cup was super cool looking. I also saw a rainbow
@The_JRM: Dentist: Do you use your dental floss? [cut to me tying my action figures to make them fly] Me: Everyday.
@Book_Krazy: Me: Excuse me sir, what's your Wi-Fi password? Him: *[Leans in] *[Whispers angrily] THIS IS A FUNERAL Me: *[Types in] THIS IS A FUNERAL
@velvettusk: If you held a gun to my head and forced me to choose Tobey Maguire's Spider-Man or Andrew Garfield's, I'd probably shit my pants.