@eff_yeah_steph: Parenting is just putting throw pillows back on the couch every ten minutes until you die.
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@joejwest: ME: I think we're being followed DATE: Really? M: [checks rear-view mirror] Yep D: Wait you carry that around with you? M: Just keep walking
@T_Bonezzz_: Nicholson: You want answers?! Cruise: I want the truth!! Nicholson: YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH! Cruise: mmk... how bout a little hint?
@CornOnTheGoblin: sisqo: [filing a missing persons' report] she had dumps like a truck cop: i keep telling you, i don't know what that means