@Dave_in_SoPo: Parenting is much harder nowadays. For example, you have to be able to push a kid on a swing and tweet at the same time.
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@huntigula: Good Cop: If you tell us where the money is we can help you. Bag Cop: *majestically floats around the interrogation room on AC currents*
@Skullcat: When a big account that doesn't follow me stars me suddenly, I crouch down and stay still, hoping it will tiptoe up and eat from my hand.
@PajamaBen_: Billy where is your homework? "im sorry Ms. Klein my dog- *sees dog in the window make a throat cutting motion* -gone cat ate it"