@Dave_in_SoPo: Parenting is much harder nowadays. For example, you have to be able to push a kid on a swing and tweet at the same time.
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@dragonsorbet: [Confession] "I killed a man" "Wait what" "Lol had to get that off my chest, now why did you come in today, my son?"
@ericonederful: If you've committed to pulling a door handle that says push in front of people you have to rip the handle off. You can't let a door own you.
@abbycohenwl: Realized I never said "unquote" after reciting a famous poem in 10th grade. Sorry if you thought everything I've said since is Shakespeare