@audri_em: Parenting teenagers is easy since they already know everything.
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@Underchilde: [Minister]: Do you take this woman to be your lawful— [Groom]: I’m just here for the open bar.
@AndrewNadeau0: ME: Onions make me cry. HER: It's from a compound called Syn-Propanethial-S-Oxide. ME: I think it's probably cuz an onion killed my parents.