@Cheeseboy22: Parenting tip: If your kids are fighting in the back seat of the car, stick your arm over and swing it around a bunch. That'll show em'.
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@isabelzawtun: "weighing in at 129 lbs, here to throw down in a gown, to slay with a bouquet-" (Bride walks down the aisle, upset I mentioned her weight)
@dubiousgenius: Then they came for the bins, and I did not speak out, because I was not a bin man, and they were, and that was their job.