@DannyZuker: Parents, stop giving your kids these crazy names. I just found a love letter my son wrote to a girl named "Steven!"
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@215potter: Thank god my brother's getting his PhD, I was running out of ways to disappoint my parents.
@TheBoydP: Couples have an amount they can spend up to without discussing with each other. Mine is around $50. My wife's is around $643.27. Apparently
@weinerdog4life: When I turn on the lights all of the dads scatter off of my deck, the fat dads can't get over the fence