@DrScienceCat: Parking advice
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@ParentNormal: I can't tell if my baby is a slow clapper or is starting a slow clap to mock my parenting.
@AnnaKendrick47: My life would be so much easier if it wasn't for that thing…God, what is that thing called…other people.
@robdelaney: Haha my cousin's safeword is "chalice." (We don't have sex; I saw it cuz I hacked his email to get his salmon casserole recipe)
@ImSoFrancis: Food just tastes better upside-down 1. upside-down cake 2. hamburgers 3. not cereal tho 4. oh no cereal is everywhere 5. why did I do this