@JasonLastname: Parkour or plastic? *bounces away with your groceries*
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@ibid78: If you whisper, "we're being watched," you can hug a stranger for as long as you want. My record is 13 days.
@Sarcasticsapien: I only discriminate against people who discriminate. I'm basically the Dexter of discrimination.
@corinnemlwsw: Every time I visit my parents, I send the kids in first so they can signal me if it's an intervention.
@TheRobCee: #1 complaint of armored car drivers? People they talk to along the way ending the conversation with "...and you can take THAT to the bank!"