@Heather2Go: Paying bills is fun and easy when you have a bottle of wine and a shredder.
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@DatManGood: My kid: "I want the new iPad like my friends, everyone has them" Me: "And I want to vacation in Hawaii..disappointing day all around huh?"
@thatdutchperson: [does his regular grocery shopping] Cashier: having a kid's birthday party? Me: ...................yes.
@WayneL_Jr: That Chief Keef album hypnotized me earlier. I didn't even realize I was stealing from my mama purse until she paused my music.
@UncleDuke1969: I know I'm more literater than you because of my fancificacious vocabularianistic wordicisms.