@bromanconsul: people are like "pokemon is basically dogfighting" but tbh if a dog with ice powers fought a ghost dog I would probably peek over that fence
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@matt_simpson84: My wife and I have an ongoing game called "Wipe Boogers on Stuff in the House" that she doesn't know we are playing
@UNTRESOR: "Sorry, boss. I can't come in today." "Why not?" [fakes a sore throat] "I'm in jail for vehicular manslaughter."
@iamk1ts: As confused as an atheist who's stuck behind a car that isn't moving at a green light & has a bumper sticker that says 'Honk if you love God
@3sunzzz: [interview at Bass Pro Shops] So, tell me a little about yourself. Me: *dressed in camouflage* Wait, you can see me?!