@mattgallo123: People ask me, "Matt, how do you do it?" , "Matt, what's your secret?" , "Matt, why do you make up imaginary interview questions?"
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@Ignorant_Indian: People out there are trying to contact the dead and you're telling me you can't text back?
@bugbucket: wonder why's theres a pizza laying here in the middle of the woods *eats it* *dies 82 years later* dammit it was a trap
@sweetandweak: Him: my name is Robert but my friends call me Bob, you can call me whatever you like. Me: Cool, nice to meet you Nachos.
@WilliamAder: Me: This "Fear the Walking Dead" show is really creepy. Wife: This is the Video Music Awards.