@imdaintyaf: People complain when my baby is crying and then they complain when I stuff her in the overhead bin, MAKE UP YOUR GD MINDS
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@maebemarbles: Not one person is cooler than the pigeon that just walked all the way into this Mexican restaurant, gently picked up a taco chip, and left.
@Easy_Tiger__: If Kristen Stewart played the daughter in Taken, Liam Neeson would probably just let the bad guys have her.
@jake_lach: Holy shit. I just realized this sales kid is treating me this way because he thinks I'm old