@inigoomontoya: People don't really care who you are until you lick their face
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@joejwest: COP: You seen an escaped evil octopus? ME: No COP: [looks up] Nice chandelier ME: Thanks COP: Why is it wet? ME: Um COP: And holding 8 guns?
@KevinFarzad: I carry a rolled up yoga mat so people think I'm fit but really it's just a great way to hold 2 footlong meatball subs.
@TheTalkingPipe: I didn't know how to put this gently so I drew you a picture. That's you. Now, see the guy choking you? That's me.
@DVSblast: OK I GOT TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS WHOLE HILLARY EMAILS THING. TURNS OUT THEYRE LIKE A FAST KIND OF MAIL THAT GOES IN THE COMPUTER.