@TheDailySchmuck: People have underestimated me my entire life, and they've been wrong on like two of those days.
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@jonnysun: CANADIAN: im a canadian DATE: cool i've never met a comedian befor CANADIAN: [is too polite to corect them, dedicates entire life to comedy]
@ItsAndyRyan: *Child putting on clothes very slowly while singing* Me: You really need to hurry up – we're going to be late. *Child starts singing faster*
@peachgrenade: In the 1800s women were sometimes forced to wear an "A" on their clothing, signifying that they were Alvin from the Chipmunks.