@Sarcasticsapien: People in love use phrases like "takes my breath away" and "swept me off my feet". I think they're confusing love with attempted murder.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@lawblob: pranking neighborhood teens by pulling my car into their driveway & putting a bow on it so they think their parents bought it for them
@krakkenlackin: "You are what you eat" I chant furiously, shoving another roach in my mouth. Mushroom clouds keep growing in the distance
@iwearaonesie: dad: I can't find my glasses, can you read what this says for me? me: "Dad do you want to go to Home Depot" dad: [voice catching] Sure son
@ScottLinnen: Airport moving sidewalks are great for when you only want to feel like George Jetson for 10 seconds before you're back to Fred Flintstone.