@Sarcasticsapien: People in love use phrases like "takes my breath away" and "swept me off my feet". I think they're confusing love with attempted murder.
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@Swishergirl24: Son: how will I know when I’m a grown-up? Me: certain foods will make your stomach hurt.
@tinatbh: people: u should smile me: not unless u deposit 2 million dollars in my bank account thanks
@SunshineJarboly: not a day goes by that i don't think about dying and then accidentally getting sent to squirrel heaven