@katiefzack: People just said "go to the gym" they never mentioned that you have to actually do things when you get there I've been doing this so wrong.
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@YUCKYBOT: You know what they say? Once you go white, you'll rob the world of it's resources and murder indigenous peoples.
@JasonLastname: Sneak into the employee bathroom at Target and make some violent alien noises, maybe leave a jellyfish in the toilet
@rickkondell: It's nice that my vacuum has a headlight just in case I want to clean in the dark or wake my dog up thinking he's getting hit by a train.
@AlexvanBeek: When someone tells me how old their kid is in months, I ask them to rephrase it in days, so they know what I just went through.