@liz_buckley: People laughed when I said I wanted to be a professional snooker player. They're not laughing now because it was ages ago.
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@FormerGrunt: When I die, just toss my body out of an airplane flying over NYC while wearing a superman costume.
@SalimAliAhmad: Do you ever go on youtube just to watch a music video then 5 hours later you find yourself watching a tutorial on how to talk to a giraffe?
@AimeeHelene1: Dad to kid: "Connor, eat your food!" "Eat your food!" "Eat your food!" "Eat your food!" Me: *turns around, eats all of kid's food*
@InnocentMarina6: You know why most americans love minions so much? Because they resemble Twinkies..