@TheMichaelRock: People like to make fun of my fanny pack until they need a napkin or a chicken nugget.
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@murrman5: "daddy I hear footsteps on the roof, it must be Santa" *checks santa tracker* new zealand? *grabs frying pan and knife* go get in bed, son
@SortaBad: You say tomato. I say tomato. Our eyes meet. We've decided on the perfect name for our baby
@brittwastaken: "Why don't you love me anymore?" I sob as I gather my belongings. "Is it because of the kleptomania?" I cry as I put your cat in my purse.