@histwaddle: People need to stop judging a person by their appearance. Just because i have food stains on my shirt that doesn't mean i have kids.
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@sublyfe2015: My mom handed me her phone to find me on Twitter... So I deleted her account, uninstalled the app, and told her it went out of business.
@Tetley6969: I like it when my kids are old enough to drink out of the toilet on their own. That way I don't have to get out of bed to get them a drink.
@dafloydsta: [job interview] "Tell me about yourself" *flashback to when I used hand towels mom said are specifically for guests* I'm a risk taker