@AntozWolf: People say I have the legs of a dancer. But until they find the rest of the body, the cops have nothing on me, man!
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@WilliamAder: If you get a present from me with scissors and a roll of tape trapped under the wrapping paper, I'm gonna need those back.
@awkwardphilippe: ME: let me be frank DAD: [eyes widen] ME: and if you say hi Frank I'm dad, I'm gonna be real pissed DAD: fair enough GonnaBeRealPissed
@malcolmsparks: Kids are so inquisitive. "Will robots ever take over the world?" Me: "Almost certainly." "But when? Before I die?" "A bit before, yes."
@GetCougarized: Big things DO NOT always come in small packages! I wish someone had told me the truth before I pounced on this adorable midget. Poor fella.