@AntozWolf: People say I have the legs of a dancer. But until they find the rest of the body, the cops have nothing on me, man!
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@philYama: If losing a debate, end a sentence with "see what I did there?". As your opponent tries to figure it out, hit them with closest blunt object
@Love_bug1016: [first date] Him: I love Asian girls Me: [trying to act all Asian] *smiles *starts sweating *attempts to pick up chopsticks *fumbles *chopstick goes flying *stabs him in the eye Him: No, not like that
@SirEviscerate: People are like snowflakes. Individually small and ineffective, but if we work together we can make my step dad crash his car into a tree.