@OneToothTexan: People that drink Starbucks every morning, how do you decide which kid isn’t going to college?
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@claire_mudie: This crime scene tape strung between two lampposts is NOT the finish line & these policemen are NOT cheering me on to a glorious victory :(
@Terdoh: If aliens are only on the quest for intelligent life, then Earth really has nothing to worry about.
@causticbob: A survey shows that 20% of men kiss their wife goodbye when they leave the house and 80% kiss their house goodbye when they leave the wife..
@NicestHippo: PLATO: I'm famous in the future? I bet the word platonic is used to describe philosoph-- It's for relationships where nobody's getting laid