@KayRants: People that live in glass houses have tons of dead birds on their lawn.
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@Book_Krazy: Boss: You took another 2 hr lunch. Were you drinking? Me: No B: Tell me our company policy M: Lol, I can't even do that when I'm sober
@truegritrumble: ME: I propose teaching pandas to play pattycake bec- ZOOKEEPER: How do you keep getting in here? ZOO OFFICIAL: Wait. Let's hear him out.
@Playing_Dad: I can't believe these women are just walking around with yoga mats like a game of yoga might just break out at any moment
@SeanInCypress: I don't claim to know what happens inside the dishwasher, but I'm guessing that it's like the first 15 minutes of Saving Private Ryan.