@missekay: People that say a watched pot never boils clearly don't understand the second law of thermodynamics or are blind.
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@boring_as_heck: [dumps gatorade on coach after losing the big game] we know how much you hate gatorade you piece of shit
@weinerdog4life: Maybe the Titanic sank because there were too many cats onboard, you don't know.
@Playing_Dad: *shuts down road going both ways* Right over here, officer. Here is where the accident happened. *pulls tiny sheet over squirrel*