@ryangriffiths: People that say "The worst kind of cut is a paper cut" probably haven't been stabbed in the face before.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@kwirkyKerri: I don't wish anybody dead, but a well placed nasty rash on you would kind of make my day.
@THEDUTHCHESS: Logged into FB told Gemma her wedding pics are beautiful. Logged into Twitter to tell you she looked like a fat man in drag and I hate her.
@oldmanweldon: I have this fun drinking game where you take a drink every time you'd like one because you're an adult and you can make decisions yourself.