@julezmac: "People want to drink a panic attack." -- inventor of 5 Hour Energy
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@mc_funbags: I'm exactly like Rocky in that, I challenge people to fight while I'm slurring my words.
@SCbchbum: When I reached the border patrol checkpoint, I raised my kale smoothie & the officer immediately waved me through.
@UncleDuke1969: Me: Threesome? Wife: When pigs fly! Do I wish for flying pigs? Pro: Threesome Con: High bacon prices *has idea *starts building catapult