@Aut_tot: People who brag about drinking black coffee?? Ok enjoy your hot bean water, I'm using creamer because I love myself
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@carlyken: If you can't handle my interpretive dance to November Rain than you don't deserve me doing splits on the hood of your car to Whitesnake.
@sofarrsogud: Text from girlfriend: I love u more than anything else Me: I love all the letters equally
@WheelTod: Tarantulas make great pets because when they die, rather than grieving you'll feel an almost overwhelming sense of relief
@iAmJuddy: |T|h|i|n|k| |I| |f|o|u|n|d| |s|o|m|e|t|h|i|n|g| |m|o|r|e| |a|n|n|o|y|i|n|g| |t|h|a|n| |h|a|s|h|t|a|g|s|