@Aut_tot: People who brag about drinking black coffee?? Ok enjoy your hot bean water, I'm using creamer because I love myself
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@simoncholland: You could make dinner for a toddler, or you could just cut out the middle man & throw away a plate of food and squirt ketchup on the dog.
@JohnLyonTweets: *offers chair for $25 at garage sale; no takers* *glues old gears and cogs to chair* *sells "steampunk sitting contraption” on eBay for $800*