@GrumpyBahr: People who eat hotdogs from a gas station, you know there's faster ways to commit suicide?
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@KenJennings: Dance like no one is threatening to call the police if you don't take your boombox and leave the Christian Science Reading Room immediately.
@garrettbarry70: A clown sighting was reported at the office this morning but it turns out Karen put her make up on in the car again.
@Not_From_Troy: I did a survey and asked 5 women what kind of clothing brand they preferred. The 5 responded: "How the hell did you get into my house?"