@GrumpyBahr: People who eat hotdogs from a gas station, you know there's faster ways to commit suicide?
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@kylekinane: Thank god that racist basketball guy showed up or we'd still be talking about how we're not finding that airplane.
@KimmyMonte: if Disney has taught us anything it's that if you're a girl who reads books, you will eventually fall in love with a water buffalo
@NickMotown: To back up his "every action has an equal and opposite reaction" theory, Newton should've released one simultaneously saying "no it doesn't"
@UncleDuke1969: Mrs. Potato Head: OH MY GOD! Mr. Potato Head: What? Mrs. PH: Your browser history. Mr. PH: I can explain! Mrs. PH: TATER TOTS YOU PERVERT?!?