@junejuly12: People who hum in public must be blissfully unaware of how close to death they are at all times
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@Parkerlawyer: My client's (soon to be ex) wife just flipped me off in the courthouse parking lot, so yeah, I'm obviously doing my job right.
@KKAlThani: If "Bieber fever" is when a Bieber song comes on the radio & you start throwing up & stabbing yourself, then yes I had Bieber fever once.
@DavidKrap: Dear people who question why girls go to the bathroom together, Hermione went alone and got attacked by a troll.