@Paxochka: People who say "life doesn't come with a set of instructions" obviously haven't heard of the Kama Sutra.
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@ArfMeasures: [park] STRANGER: Your dog is unusual looking ME: Yeah, he's interbred DUCK: [waddles up] I'll tell you who else is into bread
@TheBeerGuy73: My therapist said that I needed to find healthier ways of expressing my anger. So I decided to jog home after setting fire to my ex's car.
@withanewname: "Doc, it's embarrassing, but I don't feel sexy." "Try wearing the wife's panties." "Really?" "Yeah, the red ones with the lace are nice"