@simoncholland: People who think this giraffe is taking forever to give birth have never listened to my daughter tell a story.
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@MrJeberling: Batman cuts off a seemingly innocuous driver in the Batmobile, only to deal with the driver later, with the help of Superman #ChangingBanes
@daemonic3: Son, always wait 30 minutes after eating before swimming "But dad we're goldfish" Oh yeah, I forgot "Forgot what?"
@littlekitnerboy: If there's one thing that Twitter has taught me its that all the weird kids in school eventually find each other.
@juliussharpe: I believe in a woman's right to choose, except when it comes to picking what movie we should watch tonight.