@Freudianscript: People who try to test my patience don't realize it's an exam I don't plan on passing.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@BuckyIsotope: Sorry ISIS but we already have a religious state that nobody likes and is full of people that hate modern thinking: it's called Kansas.
@JustFingKatie: I keep getting a message that "Twitter is having issues"nnGood job guys...we drove twitter crazy!
@thepunningman: [hospital] "I'm afraid it's bad news. Your husband will never walk again" "Oh God, he's paralysed?" "No, someone's bought him rollerblades"
@aliterative: If you love someone, let them go. If they don't come back, detonate the explosive collar.