@twayne1010: People who tweet in riddles need to know I'm not Batman.
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@HandyJack420: Wait...so I get a million dollars AND I get to punch a baby in the face? -me when someone asks if I would punch a baby for a million bucks
@Jay_FrickinLynn: [During Interview] "Do you have any questions?" - Yeah, inTitanic why did Jack sink when he died but everyone else floated?
@JakeNicholas: There's a man at the mall wearing cargo pants and a fanny pack, who I believe is in the process of becoming a suitcase.