@twayne1010: People who tweet in riddles need to know I'm not Batman.
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@Vice_Queen: So your face, is it permanently like that or are you genuinely surprised every time you take a selfie?
@VancityReynolds: I'd walk through fire for my daughter. Well not FIRE, because it's dangerous. But a super humid room. But not too humid, because my hair.
@realHamOnWry: My parents both wear hearing-aids. And I think that's why they're still married...they never turn them on.