@Crunk_Jews: People who use a vacation day the day after Christmas to have relatives over clearly don't understand the meaning of the word vacation.
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@smashbrown_: Gas prices have me feeling like I'm robbing the gas station. "Just leave, before they change their mind."
@BuckyIsotope: ME: who's a good boy *kissy noises* DOG: I just murdered the cat ME: you are, yes you are *rubs dog's head* DOG: you're next buddy
@squirrel74wkgn: My sense of smell has been gone ever since the, “smell this leftover ham” incident back in 2004.