@NickC46: People who use the wrong words sometimes should have the humidity to admit it.
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@hello_saylor: My daily affirmation before work goes something like this: "I enjoy receiving a paycheck."
@squirrel74wkgn: [at dinner] Wife: This is terrible. Me: Horrible. Waiter: Hey folks, how's your food? (simultaneously) Wife: Amazing! Me: Fantastic!
@jergarl: Me: OMG I'm so tired. Ambien: Your wife would look AMAZING covered in mustard and chocolate chips. Me: I'm on it. A: And Cheetos. M: K.