@foodandwhining: People with eyebrow, nose, and lip piercings always look like they landed face-first into a tackle box.
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@hunz74: My son has the worst altitude ever. He's defiant, rude and floating like six feet off the ground.
@nice_mustard: "lassie i don't see anyone at the bottom of this well. are you sure-" timmy felt the paws on his back. his eyes widened as he understood...
@tsunami__7: Worst part about going to work this morning was the look on my dog's face that said "sucks for you, I'm going back to sleep".