@foodandwhining: People with eyebrow, nose, and lip piercings always look like they landed face-first into a tackle box.
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@kelownagoose: If you have your underwear on over top of your pants, I'll let you in line in front of me at the pharmacy.
@419BillE: Friend- "You're drunk." Me- *mocking voice* "You're drunk." Friend- "Stop." Me- *morphs into clone of friend* "Stop."
@purplefuzzygirl: Damn boy! Are you a slinky? Cause I wanna wanna push you down a flight of stairs, then kick you when you stop halfway to the bottom.
@TheSharona06: Instead of smiling and nodding through a conversation, try clapping and nodding. People will stop talking to you.