@girlontapas: People without kids who give other people's kids messy or annoying toys..
Imagine that we gave you a monkey with a kazoo and fingerpaints..
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@Robert_Beau: Remember kids, if you’re driving in the snow and start skidding, turn into the direction of the cheapest car.
@BabetteJones: When life hands you alligators, make gator aid.
@wickedsuga: Welcome to the dark side. We have.... Well, we can't see what we have. It's dark.
@anagramps: *hot lady looks at me* Me: Hi! Do I know you? Lady: No I think I'm mistaken. *awkward pause* Me: So...is there a mister taken? *hit by bus*
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