@aveuaskew: Pet names convey familiarity and endearment. For example, honey pot, baby cakes, Succubus.
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@KenJennings: I've been at this elementary school talent show for half an hour and I've already heard "Shake It Off" 137 times.
@CoopSoSarc: We decided to go out for bbq tonight. As it turns out, I'm too immature to discuss how to smoke your meat with strangers.
@MUMSIEesq: [HOSPITAL] DOCTOR: "A-tisket a-tasket, you're gonna need a casket." WIFE: "What?" DR: "Your husband's knee surgery did not go well AT ALL."
@kumailn: What a weird thing that a Presidential candidate is like "I tried to stab my friend" & his opponents are like "no you didn't."